Ok I've spent long enough avoiding this space in shame of my lack of motivation, having no flow of creativity, no patience to wait. It’s truly been a hot minute since I've written something real as a blog post.
Life has honestly been so crazy for me not to say anything though. I've only been running around during this final year of school on APPE rotations. Assuming the role of an actual pharmacist for the past 9 months. I really wish real-time updates were available during each different 6 weeks of specialties, I just didn't have the energy for it. Life has been so up and down until gbam! May 18th came and May 18th went. I've graduated. I've been hooded. I NOW HAVE A TITLE AT THE BEGINNING OF MY NAME!
Recap // APPE Year
Going back and forth with myself on how I should tackle all of my pharmacy posts from here on out. I mean I'm still very unsure but as a quick summary my final year was one incredibly stress-filled eye opener.
APPEs are final year rotations at most if not all pharmacy schools. The acronym stands for "Advanced Pharmacy Practice Experiences" a step up from the IPPEs (I for introductory) we took part in the first two years of school.
As P3's (traditional P4s) our official role for the year, was to be professional intern pharmacists moving through different practice sites for cycles of 6 weeks. Six 40-hour work weeks of experience (credit hours) each in different patient care settings with additional projects, journal club reviews, case presentations, etc... These were trying times and exhausting periods to say the least however I utilized my process of elimination game in regards to me and my future.
There were definitely some fields I knew I would never return to again. They say never say never but listen --in certain cases I'm for sure.
When my head screws on straight I'll go into more detail of these practice sites, my experiences, and the different avenues in pharmacy available to you after attaining your degree and licensure.. mostly to expand on my What Pharmacists Do post. That was such a long time ago see as I'm here slacking off. Smh.
The Finish Line
These three years of pharmacy school have been the most challenging, deeply personal, and ultimately rewarding of my entire life. I can honestly say for three years I have been preparing, creating and deleting drafts, just trying to think of what to say for this type of blog post at the very end. Where do I begin?
Earning my Bachelor's degree in 2016 was merely a stepping stone. I definitely knew it was. I graduated midyear, discreetly walked my ceremony, took just a few phone camera pictures over the entire process. I was proud of myself but I also knew more was around the corner with graduate school starting that fall. As soon as White Coat took place it was essentially pedal to the metal.
Now that the 'May of 2019' everyone would speak of and optimistically allude to has finally arrived I'm still trying to understand where the time went. Don't worry once I actually walk down the number of 90% required pass/no pass exams, sleepless nights, myriad of breakdowns, the doubt in all my abilities, sacrifices, feeling left out while other 22-24 year olds were doing literally every and anything else --it comes rushing back to me. Yes it's been three years. Three years I definitely don't want to do again ever in my life... but is it weird I'm not particularly ecstatic it's over?
Since probably February, I was not excited about graduating. The fear of the unknown or starting something new hit way too hard. Someone who has literally been in school since kindergarten. No breaks, gap years, nothing. I made it from being a child to a doctor so comfortable in my bubble as this professional student. I knew what was expected of me. I kinda knew what to expect myself. School was a safety net.
But here I am with my goal set ten years ago (at 14) already achieved. It's time to move forward.
Transitioning
As for my life as of late, it's barely been a week.
I'm just soaking up the new graduate feel before I move back to my home state, eventually take my board exam and transition into the healthcare working world. I'm honestly enjoying my sleep as much as I can for the time being.
One thing that does creep in my mind as a small identity crisis convenient to my quarter life approaching soon is how fast it all feels to me and where I fit with the people "friends" in my life. For a lot of my classmates the next step is to finally start that family/or tend to the ones they've started however put on hold for this degree. When I look towards my personal friendships the plan is to finally focus on that degree they were taking breaks from or making financial means before pursuing. I feel like at 24 I'm sitting at such an odd middle. Not interested in a family whatsoever and completely over school.
I have no complaints though. No reason to...
With that mental aside, I'm in such a treat yourself mood, letting it all go. Putting in the extra sleep I've also kicked my self care into overdrive with a well-deserved massage, facial, I have new hair coming in ($$$) and everything is justified with being so disciplined I'm done with school forever. Or at least until I choose to add another accolade. I'm young enough and the world is open.
I really just want to get back into the blog (and I know there was a collective eye-roll) but I'm serious.
I want to do clothing hauls, makeup looks, pharmacy posts, all I dreamed for SIMPLY when I started. We're almost five years in you know.
Currently I'm on a cloud and might be here for awhile. Something I've poured my heart, soul, sweat, and tears in to. It's in my possession. I worked so hard for it. The mental gymnastics, I've earned it. And I wish I was boosting at any part of this speech, but I'm not. I'm beyond proud. I'm overjoyed. I'm anxious. My stomach is in knots. I'm actually absolutely terrified. I'm all the things.
Thank you for sticking with me!
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