When following and slight interest turn into mild obsession... and envy
Okay, I'm sure we're all well aware of the negative correlation studies between social media usage, depression, and perceptions of self worth. And yes I too fall into these deep and at times dark phases of feeling "less than" because of another person's twitter, facebook, youtube vlog or the worst yet instagram! I've heard snapchat also does a pretty good job feeding the demon... but I wouldn't know.
Anyway it's probably safe to assume that social media envy reaches all of us. Even the ones we often envy; they're bound to have their own #LIFEGOALS. You know the grass is always greener to the next person and then to the person after them.
But think. What's making it so green?
Of course a yard being watered and properly tended to will turn out greener in competition. Additionally, using your time sitting and staring at prettier looking grass instead of you to look after and worry about what's yours... well why wouldn't your grass appear duller and uninteresting?
When you personally believe you're at your lowest there will almost always be someone somewhere at their highest and they may want to post EVERYTHING about it online. You'll see it and you'll hate it 3/4's of the time. Here's to inevitability.
In our defense misery (matter of perspective) does in fact love company, like innately. It’s what you allow it to do with you that reveals the most. Actively sabotaging yourself or others is NOT ACCEPTABLE. Dwelling on these comparisons and obsessing over what outsiders are doing because their lives are seemingly perfect.. keyword seemingly... does nobody any good. So how does one get out of the rut that is bitterness?
How do you and when do you look away?
In this decade it's impossible to not know what your friends are doing even without speaking to them. This one has a party next weekend, the other booked a trip to Europe, your cousin is finally out of school transitioning to the next phase of life and you're here. Sitting on this computer.
When is it time to start looking the other way? Hopefully you're a good judge of yourself and that.. When your motivation starts to diminish along with your esteem. When you find yourself questioning why deserving people actually deserve what they're getting.
You might want to fix that.. And how you ask?
1) Discipline yourself. Out of sight out of mind... Catchy huh? Something new I got from a friend. Taking a break will help you come to terms with your own reality and give you the push to work on it. In no time the fresh green view of your personal lawn will be rightfully restored. However, this is harder than it sounds interesting as the first and obvious solution to the problem. There are people who actually struggle to maintain a social media break. It'll take some will power.
2) Reevaluate. This is when you take a step back and realize how harmful and downright stupid comparing yourself to others is. Also separating inspiration and comparison. Comparison should not be about the person, and their situation. It should be used slightly as a tool to remind you of what you want in life. Goals are great but they shouldn't be destructive.
3) Change your environment (quick fix). This is basically a tag on number 1 but it's an immediate fix. GET AWAY FROM THE SCREENS!!! The next time you notice you're more than 20 minutes into every single one of your friends' Coachella stories; get up, get some air. Come back to you.
4) Keep the faith because your time is coming. I trust in hills and valleys. Not to knock anyone's hill but it wouldn't be life without the ups and downs. I'll leave it there. Let go and let God.
Taken from one very well-known philosopher's youtube rant (Raven Elyse lol) "Comparison is the thief of joy" It's natural... But you choose how to deal with it.
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