photo by http://www.tjaiyephotos.com/
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? That age old saying from time one I've just recently learned had the response --even when the milk is free, if he likes the cow, he’ll buy it-- I mean, okay (inserts Waka Flocka meme).
In today's dating world, there's this strange phenomenon where intentions are often confused and relationship benefits are given to the under quotes "wrong person" continuously. Even if it's been stated one does not want something serious they are granted serious perks. In such a situation-ship who's to blame?
Do actions actually speak louder than words?
If they blatantly announce they want nothing from the start but choose to allow everything thereafter is it their bad? Orrrrrrr is it the fault of the other side? You stayed and you gave without reservation; why again are you crying?
Interestingly this isn't so straight forward. We currently live in a "men are scum"/manipulative era and that fuels all debates. I wanted to ask one of my favorite couples what their take on it all was. For an outside looking in perspective I went to my friends Chinenye and Charles...
Topic :: who's at fault and do actions speak louder than words?
CHICHI SAYS...
I think both parties are at fault. Honestly nothing is for sure unless words come with it. Because actions can easily be misconstrued. What one person views as "acting like they want a relationship" can easily be considered just "acting nice" so in the case of relationships I believe these things should be 2 fold. Actions must be followed by clear words or vice versa, words must be followed by clear actions. If one is missing there's no relationship and there's no true way to determine intent. Now for the person "acting as though they want a relationship" it's also their fault because they didn't clearly state their intentions or their actions appeared to be in opposition to their intentions. It it misleading to say "I don't want a relationship" and then continue to carry on in a way that may confuse the other. So in the event this person should have regular self checks and check on the boundaries they are setting to ensure they're not being misleading.
CHARLES SAYS...
Who’s at fault? Everybody. The dude is clearly putting up a bravado with the words of “I don’t want a relationship” but acts on his true feelings and treats the girl accordingly and “butters” her up but continues to spew out lies as if someone or some people are holding him back. Maybe there’s a fear of disappointment and hurt that he’s trying to avoid by getting serious with the girl, but he’s lying to himself and the girl when he does contradicting things. As far as the girl, she’s dumb. Not to say she’s intellectually dumb but more so emotionally making herself too available. The guy has stated he doesn’t want anything but continues to go on acting like he wants you and then you buy it. That’s a MAJOR red flag. Both individuals need to be in a zen of mental capacity to understand what they want. She needs to realize that though he’s saying and doing two different things, she should not act on either and leave him alone. She has to realize that she needs to avoid confusion altogether because life in itself is already confusing so why be with a confusing person? Actions speak louder than words and his inconsistent behaviors and feelings followed by her willingness to allow him to be this way are the actions that exhibit stupidity on both fronts.
"He told me his intent day one and followed up on it within weeks so I knew exactly what he wanted and he asked me to be sure I was on the same page. He was super upfront and there was never confusion"
♡
We need to start saying no to blurred lines and yes to clear intentions. No to games and yes to seriousness. No to settling men and women alike; take a step back and analyze where you are...
Is it truly where you want to be?
No comments: