With all due respect if you've been in a relationship where the two of you are "devout Christians" but have not had at least one argument stem from this line in the bible or maybe this one right here
There's also what was said Gen 3:16, 1 Tim 2:11-12 and Peter 3 etc... ha can you tell I've been through it. Fire and all?
Anyway if the topic of submission//subordination//who should be in charge whatever honestly, has yet to be discussed; is this thing you two have... is it even real?
Several Sundays ago (August 23rd) I attended a mass where the excerpt from the Ephesians was used as a reading and it also got incorporated through the priest's homily. I know typical Amara style - have an idea, start the post, then forget about it for a month or so.
But bottom line wives are supposed be subordinate to their husbands right? Somebody has to be subordinate to the other somebody because there's no such thing as a side by side partnership... AM I RIGHT??!?!!
How is it that some men, and I say some because I choose to believe that good ones are out there still... Some men in the Christian community could read and cite that entire passage or the other ones I referenced and only get a husband-wife power concept out of it? Only. Like there's no deeper meaning to any of them at all.
If you were to ask for further discussion on the topic sometimes that's all they know. The only bit worthy of memorization is whatever sentence has 'submit' in it.
Wives should submit, wives should stay back, girlfriends should start acting this way early on so that men know marriage is possible. Wait. What?
When you challenge and cause trouble in a dating relationship the man is more willing to run because roles need to be established. Oh okay.
Making matters worse at times is the mixture of this mindset with an African man. A man who has grown up seeing wives treated as privileged house girls.
You can wife her and she'll be there cooking for you, cleaning after you, and submitting (your favorite word) to you.
Let me sigh and meditate in igbo for a sec.
Dare you attempt to lead a situation or undermine authority in this kind of relationship. You are then recited bible verses left and right. To be a woman of God you must obey your husband.
Well future husband read this carefully. My definition of being submissive in a relationship: I can and will give you, the man I love, the respect and power to lead over matters concerning the both of us. Sure. But try commanding me, forcing things on me, or making important decisions without at least consulting me or considering my own thoughts and opinions...
There's levels to this submission ish. A drawn line so to speak.
I mean I like watching a man in charge. That's the kind of relationship I grew up around.
HOWEVER
Don't call me ungodly the moment I choose to oppose something. I also grew up knowing I have a voice and that I have the privilege to use it.
I write this rant mainly for the foreign [African/Nigerian] men out there; let's be honest. I rarely see a man from the states as surprised to see a women go against him as often as they are.
I'm also speaking for myself only. All from experience. If I feel you're overstepping your place in OUR relationship; I will not be shy to let you know. Homegirl across the way may feel differently and that's cool. This is me.
There's a boy who once made a big deal about my studying to become a pharmacist. Someone who will eventually be answering Dr., earning more than he would, and working long hours because "who would mind the house and watch the kids"?
I laughed and told him that this is the life I'm CHOOSING. The person who CHOOSES to go for a lower level career with the CHOSEN title/rank/income but has the time to sit at home battling an inferiority complex can.
In my head it's even worse because this boy doesn't believe business women are able to enjoy having families too.
Don't be like him. Please don't try me. Or try to school me on what it means to be a "Godly Woman"
Until next time loves
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